I'm not sure whether to keep this or share it... Seriously I need someone to express what in my heart, I can't keep this hurt feeling in my heart, it might hurt me more... But to whom I can talk with? Who want to hear my sensitive emotional story? I have to pretend to be such a stronger person, but how long i can be a pretender? If I can forget that moment as easy as get rid stain on my cloth...
But I need to consider many heart... I can't just simply express my feeling... It is okay for others but it is not okay for me... I don't want others get offended with me purposely, unless I don't realize it, even it unrealized i will try to discover it through the action of others...
But I really sad and confuse, "she" always treat me like that, just like I'm a person with no heart... "she" scold at me, embarrass me, condemn me, but right after that "she" will talk to me just like nothing happen... Although "she" realize what "she" did, she just thought that is normal to treat me like that.. So many times I told her, don't treat me like that, I'm such a very sensitive person.. But then "she" did it again... Sometimes I really want "her" feel what exactly I felt when "she" did that to me, but it just happen in my mind... I don't want others knew and feel the pain, moreover I precisely knew that "she" very easy to get offended with me...
I will cure this pain alone, maybe this the test that Allah SWT sent to me to make me more stronger person.. Furthermore, what happen today is not the first time... and I know it will be repeated again and again... I will ask Allah SWT to open "her" heart and mind to start thinking and considering about others feeling and not being such a selfish person...
Okay, up until this point my post today... will come back later.. bye... night! TQ
Wassalamualaikumwaramatullahiwabarakatuh...
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